Getting Hit on by "The Homie," dudes, and other relationship ish.
This is an old ass post I never posted but maybe it will help some random female who loves somebody
So I went out yesterday to Southbound which is a local club in Knoxville. It was for one of my Line Sisters birthday outings. She's turning 24 and we wanted to do something so we went to Texas Roadhouse which is like one of my favorite restaurants and then we drank at my apartment and went out.
I'm in the club vibing having a good time and minding my own business and suddenly this guy starts talking to me and telling me what he does for a living and his education background and I guess the normal stuff. So then he says "can I buy you a drink?" and who am I to turn down a free drink lol. So then my LS says I think he's this one guy who posted this girls nudes and I'm like huh that's kind of douchy but whatever he doesn't have nudes of me so shrug lol. So I asked him his twitter name and she was like yeah that's him lol.
Anyway, after looking at the twitter name I realized he is someone that ken retweets and talks to via social networks. I told ken about it and he was acting all shocked and dismayed or whatever. And I was like well don't worry about it he probably just thought I was some random chick not your significant other, which was probably true. He has no reason to connect me with ken whatsoever.
Mind you I am a private person mostly because I know not everyone has your best interest at heart and some people are out to sabotage a good thing, or are just extremely nosey and I don't like people in my business like that. I'm friends with people on social networks that I would not disclose any of my personal information to. I however think that that type of situation has its pros and cons.
On the one hand I don't want people to be all in my business and I don't want to be "in a relationship" with ken on Facebook for the simple fact I don't want random nosey bitches and dudes checking his page of trying to find out information about him or me. It's not because I am ashamed of him or I'm trying to be shiesty or dishonest or portray and image that I am in fact single I just don't like to share everything about my personal life. I don't have a relationship status on Facebook so I am neither in a relationship nor single. I don't mind being in a relationship on Facebook but I have to be on the same page with him about it which is a sensitive topic to him for his personal reasons.
On the other hand being private about a "relationship" does have its downfalls because things happen like males and females thinking you are some random single guy or girl and flirting with you or hitting on you. You can't really get mad because what reason do they have to believe that you are taken? Even if its someone you're "cool" with they have no reason not to hit on your significant other because they don't know you have any ties to that other person. Yes the person getting approached can say oh I have a bf/gf, but some stuff can be avoided.
I guess that's what rings are for. It places claim on an person that would be perceived otherwise as single. So are we really single until married? Kind of I guess. I don't know but I think pointing out flaws helps with improvement. If you acknowledge the issue and address it both parties should be willing to fix the issue and compromise about it. That's how you make relationships work.
SIDENOTE
My mom has been coming at me HARD about marriage and stuff like that. Like I tell everyone I never thought she would be like that. She's always told me to focus on me and my education. I guess this is the next thing on her agenda. She just lost her mom, my grandmother and I guess maybe her views are changing about family. I'm super sad about my grandma passing I would have loved for her to be around to meet my significant other and be at my wedding and hold my children but that's not how the ball rolled.
I've also been dealing with some other situations that kind of have me in an emotional struggle. Like I'm STRUGGLING. I don't think ya'll understand. I'm on a tangent but whatever. Relationships make you do things you would never think you would have done or said you would never do again. And relationships are so hard and can be made harder by immaturity and tests and insecurities its kind of sad. I'm just working hard and living.
Today I told my mom ken was in Panama City and the first thing she says is "what he's on spring break? He's not maturing at all." I said I didn't say anything to him because he said he needed a vacation so it's whatever I really don't care. Maybe now she will stop saying the marriage word and she'll get it that that's not a feasible expectation. I don't need her to suggest anymore venues or tell me about costs of weddings or commitment issues or anything like that. That shits super depressing. Like SUPER depressing.
Also I don't think people take ken seriously at all. Like I was showing one of my coworkers my Pinterest boards and I have a wedding ideas board and an if I had a kid board which is kind of embarrassing because I have neither but I got this vibe that she was thinking "awe that's cute" ya know? Like that's cute but girl stop. I mean I know he's not as for lack of a better term "serious" as some of the other guys but it kind of hurts my feelings and makes me not want to talk about or share anything if you don't take my "relationship" seriously.
I'm not the type to force anything such as a relationship or DTR'ing or anything so if you don't want to oh well. I'll stay until it gets old or I'm over it then good day but I'm not begging for anything. It's never a good idea to force someone to do something they otherwise would not do because usually they aren't doing it for a reason. If you have to argue with someone about being in a relationship on social networks and they don't have a valid reason why not they're probably cheating or at least want to be perceived as single. If they don't want to be in a relationship they're probably playing the field or have a fear of commitment especially if you have been dating for a significant amount of time. If they don't want to wife you after years of dating usually they are not done with their childish ways and immaturity and insecurities or have doubts about wanting to be with you or your future together. All I'm saying is pay attention to the signs. Don't ignore them. If the signs are there your best bet is to consider another path in life. Harsh but real advice though.
My mom is right about one thing. If you're making a commitment to someone make sure they are making a commitment of equal or grater value to you. If you're the only one doing the most pack your shit and leave and make a commitment to bettering YOURSELF. The right person will come along later when you're the person you need to be for them.
Wait who am I kidding. I talk about this all the time. I'm fucking 24. My eggs, if I can have kids are gonna run dry men never run out of sperm. Starting a new relationship sucks. You have to meet them, you have to mutually take an interest in each other for the same reason. He can't be interested in sex and you're interested in a relationship. So say you meet someone that's interested in a relationship. Then you have to fall in love with each other. Then he has to want to propose to you and he has to do it and you have to have an engagement period and then you have a wedding and then you want to have some time where its just the two of you before you have kids and by that time you can have no eggs or you can be at the age for high risk pregnancies or special needs children and then they'll decide they want two or three and who's to say you'll be able to have children. Life's so fucking short. Don't waste it over a douche bag that won't commit or a stupid girl. The whole process of finding love and getting married can take a minimum of 5 years. Which is fucking terrible. Starting over sucks. BALLS. So if you're my age don't waste anyone's time and don't let anyone waste yours. Actions speak louder than words. If words and actions don't coincide. GOODDAY. life's too short to waste time. Women get old men can have babies for ever that's why they don't give a shit about time.
Also men are quick to say what they don't want to wife. So you don't want to wife a chick that drinks and goes to the club? Well maybe if you spent time with her and she felt secure in her relationship with you and you made some sort if commitment she wouldn't. Why would Your gf want to be with you and you're playing Xbox smoking weed drinking not excelling at life like neither of those people are marryable. Women just usually look at what the man has potential to be. Men look at what women are. If some of us women didn't look at potential we'd be dumb as a box of rocks for dating some of these RACHET ass men.
Ok but off my tangent. Take my advice. Tell me what you think.
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