Men: Dating, Soul mates, Meeting Men in the CLUB, Getting "hooked up," etc. All my thoughts on men lol & REQUESTED: Me and the BOO ♥

I have been wanting to do a blog on things as far as women and the opposite sex I have seen in my day to day life, things I have experienced, and my thoughts on them, I am no expert, but this is how I feel lol I'm sure I will be offending some people, but I don't really aim to please, this is not for the weak lol anywho lets go on to my first topic:

Meeting Men in the Club, ONLINE, etc.

I have had various associates, Soror's, etc. lol who have met men online, and in

the club. Don't get me wrong, its okay to meet people, but its NOT okay to take people HOME or expect a serious relationship out of it, and for some young women that is the ONLY way they meet people. If you are in The Malibu 7, Visions, Central Station, Level 2, etc. trying to find your soul mate while you both are drunk out of your minds you need to kill yourself. Why would any adult in his or her RIGHT MIND think that the club is a place to meet a man/woman??? You may be asking yourself, why can't I get me a man in the club WELL, there are many reasons:

1. You are probably not sober, neither is he. The club has DIM LIGHTING, he may think you look like an ogre when the lights come on, you may think he looks like a sea urchin when the lights come on and you both SOBER UP, its best to meet people in good lighting and without the beer goggles so no ones feelings get hurt when they don't look as attractive as they seemed in low light, intoxication, and MAKE UP lol.

2. A club hopping HOE/nigga is not the type of person you want. Where were they when you met them? THE CLUB. Where are they going to be every weekend? THE CLUB. What are they going to be trying to pick up every weekend? Other club hoes/niggas. Get your priorities in order. The club is not a dating scene if you are an adult looking for something serious. Statistics show that you are more likely to meet your mate in the day time (at school/work), than a SINGLES BAR/club, smh.

3. If you are GROWN you wouldn't be looking for anyone in a club ANYWAY. You would want to meet someone at work or school, because you would at least have reason to believe they have the same goals/interests as you.

4. Also, a lot of people like to hide behind a computer, text messages, and phone calls. You can have the best text, phone, and facebook chat conversations in the world, and when you meet the person there are CRICKETS which goes to show that's NOT the real person thats on the other end of which ever form of communication you all are using, that is the person they want to be, and in cyber space a sexy chocolate 23 year old man could turn out to be a 45 year old rapist. Be careful.

What happy, successful couple says yeah we met in the club when we were both wasted, think about it, be smart, GROW UP.

Getting HOOKed Up/Blind dates

I have never been a fan of someone hooking me up with someone else, I am usually #MatchMakerShawty: The HookerUpper. For one thing, I am not desperate. I don't need anyone to find me a boo for the weekend lol, clearly I could find my own if necessary *flips hair*. But every time I have been unwillingly hooked up (most recently by my roommates boo) it has been a disaster.

No one knows your "type" better than you. Chances are if some guys is trying to hook you up so you won't have another lonely weekend, because he brought some "tag alongs" and they need someone to hang with, or whatever reason it is, they won't be meant for you.

I am a firm believer in "What God has for me, is for me," granted God works in mysterious ways, and he may be working through your roommates boo lol, but I doubt if God would send you the man that is meant for you in a NIGHT CLUB while you are DRUNK.

Soul Mates

I recently had a conversation with my roommate about soul mates. We had differing opinions on what they are. Her idea of a soul mate is perfection, no problems, everything is perfect. That's not my idea of a soul mate because I don't think anything in life is perfect. Like I said earlier; I believe what God has for me is for me. So this may be the person God wants you to be with, and of course you're going to have your ups and downs and disagreements, but you still know you love that person and that is the person you are meant to spend the rest of your life with.

Dating

At my age, and the age of my readers (I am assuming 18-35) casual dating is great. We are past the point where we sit on the phone late at night and giggle to the person on the other end (hopefully). We are actually getting out of the house going on dates. This isn't high school people!

Also, don't let others opinons stop you from being HAPPY. VARIOUS line sisters, friends, etc. have told me "he doesn't look like the typical guy you would date," "dede what are you doing," lol etc. But you should do what makes you happy. Most of the time the people doing all this YAPPING about your business are SINGLE, sit on the phone at night, posting facebook statuses, trying to get on "hoes" and have no real dating life of their own. GTFOH. All I'm saying is don't worry about what the next lonely bitch is saying DO YOU lol.

BUT, you do have to realize when your friends do have your best interest at heart. When your man is trying to beat your ass, don't blame it on the alcohol, THAT IS A RED FLAG. If he talks to you crazy THAT IS A RED FLAG, if he has every EXCUSE in the book as to why he has no money, no car, no job THAT IS A RED FLAG, if you or your friends keep catching him in lie, after lie, after lie, don't over look ALL of this because you call yourself in love. You are in love with LIES, these are all RED FLAGs. Take heed and listen to your first mind, those that care most about you, and foremost God.

BONUS TOPIC: Responsibility BEFORE Relationships

1. Don't look for qualities in a man that you don't have yourself. Why would you be out here talking about I want a man with a car, that don't live with his mama, got a job, and ain't got no kids *ghetto bish voice* and you live with your grandma, get welfare checks, and have 4 kids and 5 baby daddy's??? Okay that was extreme, but if you are not independent meaning you don't pay your own bills, you don't have a car, you don't have a job, why would a man with all of that even want you?? You have to have something APPEALING to bring to the table besides your body, IF that is appealing.

2. Before you go thinking you want a relationship learn how to do things for yourself. If the only thing you know how to cook is Totino's pizza rolls, hot dogs, and canned soup you don't need to look for a man, you need to look for a cook book, because you can't even take care of yourself. If you are still depending on mommy and daddy to pay your rent, phone bill, etc. you don't need a man, because you can't even be responsible for yourself. It is okay to get help every now and then when you need it, but there is a difference between getting help when you need it and being dependent on your parents, you have to grow up some day, no better time than the present. A woman, better yet GIRL that does not have her priorities in order, can not cook, and can not take care of herself is not appealing, and NEITHER is that man who can not do things for himself.

3. Communication is the key in ANY relationship. If you can not communicate your feelings to long time friends, associates, teachers, co-workers, etc and rather wallow in self-pity, pettiness, anger, etc. instead of communicating, you are not an adult, and you are not ready for a relationship, point blank, PERIOD.

Finding a Man

This can be summed up in ONE sentence: Don't go looking for a man let God send you one when you least expect it.

My Boo

Okay, a couple of my ls's and friends who have not met Ken, seen a picture, etc. would like to know more about him. Well, we met at one of my line sister's apartment. We were having a girls night, and one of my ls's knew some Alpha's that were in town and told them to stop by (he is not an Alpha). So the guy my friend knew came by with him and another one of their friends. I had been drinking, and I didn't give him a second look, because he is not the typical guy I'd date lol, but that is how we first met.

Later we met again when I had a game night at my house, I again was not paying him any mind, just enjoying a game night with one of my Line Sisters, and some friends. A couple days later, he text me asking "what's going on in Knoxville," as if he is not a local. I replied and told him of the events I knew about. He later text me and asked if I wanted to go to Naples with him lol, I kept saying NO, NO, NOOOooooo! lol then I finally said yes and we went on a date (we still haven't been to Naples yet though hmph), the rest is history! I guess you can't deny fate? We'll see.....

Yesterday I was really impressed by the date he set up lol. Dinner and a movie. When he told me he mad reservations somewhere I didn't know where it would be. Then we passed by Waffle House, and I jokingly said "Did you make reservations at Waffle House?" He said no, then we pulled up to P. F. Chang's. We had spring rolls as an appetizer, then I had the Crispy Honey Shrimp, added almonds, and broccoli, snow peas, and carrots, it was really good, plan on eating those left overs when I get off work lol. He had Some chicken entrée lol I can't remember which one, but the food and the service was good.

Then we went to see Black Swan. Good movie, hated the ending, but it is a must see!

Well to sum this all up, let God send you someone who treats you well, realize you have that, and hold on. When you don't have someone that treats you well LET THEM GO!

The picture on the left is a picture of us. Tell me what you think about how we look together, or anything else you want to know about him, or anything you have to say about this blog post in general I love comments, constructive criticism, etc. and I will respond! You can comment anonymously so don't worry about me judging YOU personally so feel free to say whatever!

♥ dEde